When Schadenfreude is not die besten Freude

SUPREME EXECUTIVE POWER DERIVES FROM A MANDATE FROM THE MASSES, NOT SOME FANCIFUL AQUATIC CEREMONY!

German is the best and most expressive language for rendering complex thoughts; it is why German philosophy is superior, and why I took German as a minor in college to better understand dense tomes of German philosophy like Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason or Heidegger’s Being and Time.

It is no surprise, then, that German has a word which precisely captures the sadistic joy humans experience upon viewing another’s misfortune: Schadenfreude, or “shadow-joy.” I routinely say “Schadenfreude ist die besten Freude,” or “the joy of other’s misfortune is the greatest joy.”

Except I do not really believe that; the greatest joy you can experience in life is actually seeing your loved one achieve their goals and the radiant smile on their face. But this is not a German expression. So today, we shall contain our discussion to Schadenfreude and why you should, against all of your base lizard-brain impulses, reign it in.